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She was
never
meant
to
survive.
Leila: The Weighted Silence
of Memory
Twelve-year old Leila knows little more of the world than the view from her family’s mud-brick hut on the steep slopes of the Atlas Mountains. The family barely has enough to eat and her father, an illiterate tanner, has taken to drinking and brutalizing her mother. Leila's greatest hope is to marry the son of the village shopkeeper, a union that would allow her to feed her family. Understanding that being a girl bars her from attending the village school, she knows she is destined to become a wife, bear her husband's children, and to live like all the women who came before her.
Leila’s dreams are destroyed in one night when three strangers arrive at their hut, seeking payment for her father's gambling debt. Seeing no objects of any value, they take her, instead. Dragging her away from the only life she has ever known, Leila is forced into the back of a truck. She knows at that moment that she is unlikely to ever see her mother, brothers, or her home, again.
Thus begins Leila's long journey into silence:
The silence of a child sold to a brothel in a distant city.
The silence of a young woman passed on to a judge who exploits her as his servant.
The silence of a barely literate woman who suffers years of rape, beatings and hunger.
Leila survives by clinging to memories of her mountain village and the love of her mother. When she meets two educated sisters who are determined to improve women’s lives she gains her first glimmering of hope — and the courage to take her freedom.
After a harrowing escape she slowly reclaims her life through the love of a family facing their own search for healing. Knowing kindness, safety and respect for the first time, Leila begins to trust in all the promises that life can hold.
Set in modern-day Morocco, Leila:The Weighted Silence of Memory is a journey of rebirth and a testament of one woman’s struggle to find meaning in her own humanity.
This story of modern-day human trafficking illuminates the experience of victims of slavery throughout the world.
The Origins of Leila: The Weighted Silence of Memory
Essaouira, Morocco is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Perched on the northeastern coast of the African continent, her white walls enclose a pearl of Moorish architecture comprised of winding alleys and cobbled streets. The mighty Atlantic beats out a rhythm against ancient rocks that once welcomed ships from around the world, and the blue sky nestles against her elegant minarets and turreted houses under the equatorial sun.
This is a city that gives rise to tales, both fanciful and sorrowful. “Leila: The Weighted Silence of Memory”is such a tale—born in a single moment, captured in a fleeting photograph and grown over decades of memory. I visited Essaouira in 1985 and observed a cloaked woman walking across the sands, her skirts billowing even as her hooded face remained in shadow. A photograph of her figure, set against the restlessly approaching waves, haunted me until I copied it as a painting on a wall-sized canvas. For two decades this painting has hung in various rooms in my home and I thought daily of Essaouira and the unknown woman walking by the sea.
Leila is at once the simplest and most difficult book I have written. The events in Leila’s life rolled almost effortlessly from my mind to the page, yet the story is so dark that I have little memory of actually writing it. Her will to survive seems very familiar to me, for it is the stories of my own ancestors. However, as her story unfolded it became increasingly and painfully clear to me that nothing I have ever experienced can be compared to her suffering, and I genuinely feel that writing this book gave me a greater appreciation of the privileges and advantages I enjoy in my own life.
Leila’s cruel fate is the fault of a culture that, it seems to me, turns its most vulnerable members into prey. A lack of education, of professional opportunity or the chance for financial improvement leaves untold millions of men and women like Leila at the mercy of those who would exploit them. This is not, therefore, simply a novel about modern-day slavery—it is a novel about the kinds of physical, emotional and sexual exploitation that we cannot ignore in the world today.
This is not a story about Morocco. It is not about Islamic culture. Indeed, stories like Leila's occur in most countries of our world, including the United States. This is a story about illiteracy. The desperation of the poor. Above all, it is story that illustrates the oppression of women.
“Leila: The Weighted Silence of Memory”takes place in Essaouira because of a single moment that haunted me until it found its place in these pages. I hope that, at the least, you find it meaningful. In the best of all worlds, I would hope that you enjoy this tale, too.
The photo that inspired "Leila" (photo credit: Marcel Neff).
Praise for Leila: The Weighted Silence of Memory
“Leila is brave, compelling fiction that speaks many truths about a subject fraught with silence and denial. Moments of human connection, hope and resistance punctuate Leila’s descent into increasing domination and despair. The nuanced characters are true to their context, and while the setting may be unfamiliar, the tactics and justifications of Leila’s oppressors, as well as the physical and emotional scars they cause, exist across religions and nations that have substantial economic and gender inequality. Leila struggles to make sense of her situation and exercise her limited autonomy in her own way, but variations of her physical and emotional scars remain permanently with enslaved women across nations and religions, even if they are fortunate enough to find a space to start healing."
—Dr. Paul Leighton, Ph.D.
Distinguished Professor, Department of Sociology, Eastern Michigan University
“Hold onto your heart for it will surely break as Heather Neff deftly takes you on a heart wrenching, yet ultimately satisfying journey from self loss to self love. Your travel guide is Leila, a woman child who lives in a world where women have little value except to serve and service men. Stolen into servitude because of the sins of her father, she suffers physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Even when she is physically free, her spirit remains enslaved by the ghosts of her pasts and fears for her future. Leila finds acceptance and appreciation through a woman who takes her in and helps her see an inner strength that is far more valuable than her uncommon outer beauty. Neff, a supremely gifted writer, captures the reader with words so engaging it is as if you’re being held hostage by this sorrowful tale as it blooms into a story of hope.”
—Cassandra Spratling, The Detroit Free Press
"I finished reading Leila: The Weighted Silence of Memory a little less than a week ago, and it was the best book I've read in several months. The story is poignant, although tragic, and is masterfully written so that the reader becomes engrossed from start to finish. While Leila is fiction, the book highlights the all-too-common inhumanity of modern-day human trafficking, and I hope it will bring more light to this very serious issue. I had the pleasure of meeting the author at a book review, just after finishing Leila, and I loved her and her writing style so much that I bought her 4 other books that day. Heather Neff is a serious writer with unusual stories that trounce a lot of the other "fluffy" romance novels on bookstore shelves today!"
—Tiffany Otis-Albert
"This book is great! Its a well written eye-opening story of the hardships of women born in cultures that devalue women—at times, thrilling, suspenseful, heart wrenching - yet hopeful."
—Alta Harrison
An Unforgettable Story
"Leila confronts issues of human trafficking—something that affects thousands worldwide and is not talked about enough—in a beautiful, delicate way. This book will change your life!!
I just can't say it enough - this book is wonderful!! Very poignant, gripping story, great detail, strong characters and very well written. The story just flows well and takes you on a journey. If you're having any doubt about getting this book, don't - One of the best books I've ever read and I thoroughly enjoyed it."
—lheffelf
wonderful
"I had Heather Neff as a professor and we read this book in class. It is very touching and was a wonderful look into the life of this woman/girl. It really makes you think about how this world works. I was so touched by this story that I have read it numerous times."
—Anonymous writer
Serious read for serious people
"Great read. Makes one appreciate and think about how precious liberty and individualism is and how in minutes it can be removed. Descriptions are great and makes you want to turn the page to see what happens next. Leila makes you think, cry and cheer hard for her like you'd cheer for your favorite sports team."
—jddude
Heather Neff: hneff@emich.edu
Available for purchase on Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Leila-Weighted-Silence-Heather-Neff-ebook/dp/B00NDF34T8?ref_=ast_author_dp